Beatrice Taishoff is
100years old. Her ethical will contains a balance of her life story along
with the wisdom of her accumulated years. Thank you Beatrice, for sharing
your wisdom.
My Ethical Will
My name is Beatrice Taishoff
and, as I approach my 100th year, I am, to the best of my knowledge, the
only living member of my generation. I would like to be remembered
long after I am gone from this world for how I was able to cope with circumstances
of life, which made me a stronger person. I do not believe it could
have been possible in any other country than the United States of America.
As I write this I have been
residing for three months in The Jewish Home and Hospital in the Bronx
section of New York. I was born on September 22, 1902 in a section
of New York City called the lower east side which was predominately inhabited
by Jewish people. My parents were Lewis and Esther Levine and I was
the second child of three. My father named me "Bracha", the feminine
form of "Baruch", which was his grandfather's Hebrew name and the person
whom he worshipped. Baruch amazingly acquired an education in Russia,
which was unheard of at that time. His fame was so widespread that
the Czar employed him. My father told me he named me after him because
he felt I, too, would be able to attain any goal I wished. He kept
stressing this. I loved and revered my father, though I only knew
him for my first five years of life. Upon his death I decided upon
two goals from which I never strayed. One goal was never to be placed
in an orphanage as my younger brother was. This meant that at the
point of my father's death and for the rest of her life I assumed a great
deal of responsibility to care for my mother. At age 5, I relieved
her of most of the household duties like housework, preparing meals, doing
laundry, etc. so she could remain in good health and would be able to work
in a variety of menial jobs. Even after she remarried when I was
11, I needed to continue this, as her new husband was not a good or reliable
breadwinner.
The second big goal was that
somewhere in this wonderful land of opportunity I would get an education
better than any of my ancestors. I was always an outstanding student,
a voracious reader and took advantage of every opportunity to educate myself.
I joined the Henry Street Settlement House, which afforded me wonderful
learning opportunities. I graduated from public school at age 11.
My stepfather found a job for me in a sewing machine factory where I worked
for a year and I secreted money from my salary. I then put myself
through secretarial school where I learned shorthand and became very competent,
earned a good salary and always saved. From that I was able to use
my savings and put down a deposit on a house for my mother and stepfather
in a far section of Brooklyn. Although working full time, I always
went to evening high school in every community my family moved. Finally,
after many years I graduated from high school with honors. Depression
years were upon us, but I was determined to get a good education.
I was ecstatic to gain acceptance to the University of Michigan where they
had a work/study program so I could pay my tuition, room and board.
I graduated magna cum laude and my major was sociology. Moving back
to New York City, I worked for social services organizations and quickly
rose to administrator. I also fell in love and married. All
the time my mother lived with me, my husband and our 3 children and I took
care of her also-. Like my father, my husband died when our children
were young. I had to continue working and I took courses at Columbia
University at night. I would not have been able to do this were it
not for my mother who, though arthritic, was responsible for caring for
my children so I would not have to hire help I could not afford.
My mother's contribution was above and beyond any commitment any mother
could make and I am forever grateful.
Religion always played a vital
role in my life. It started when I learned my father would not have
anyone to say Kaddish for him after he died. (Kaddish is the prayer Jews
recite when a loved one has died.) I resolved that I would become educated
in Yiddish and Hebrew language, particularly reading prayers in Hebrew,
which for me was direct communication with God. I say a few of the
Hebrew words as an introduction and then talk directly with God.
He answers by giving me a feeling of being protected and loved in almost
a fatherly fashion and this has always been very comforting. Because
I felt so grounded in Judaism, I decided that in my extensive travels I
would study other religions also. I believe that there is one God
for all people, though people try to reach Him in different ways.
My relationship with God has helped me understand that relationships are
the key to all that happens to us in life. When I entered this nursing
home, at first I could not accept my loss of independence and my home.
I became very depressed and for a brief time wanted to die. However,
once I realized that this chapter in my life also has a purpose, I turned
my life around. One of those purposes was to thoughtfully review
my life and pass on to you, my dear family, the values I have held dear.
These values, which I internalized from my father, have grounded and guided
me through my life's journey and I hope they will do the same for you.
Also, the relationships I have made here with residents and staff has given
me renewed meaning. As I discovered throughout my life, I love people
and they love me. We need each other. Daily, staff transmits
their great strength, both physical and spiritual, to me with their gentle
healing hands. Their belief in my ability to be all that I can be
has deeply inspired me. Judaism, my spiritual fountain, has given
me the will to live. I believe I can still do and carry out God's
work on earth in giving to others. God bless all of my friends, and,
in the name of my father, I say God bless America land that I love...
I want to leave you, my dear
family, with some thoughts. Goals are essential to develop a person's
regard for himself and his place both in his home and the community.
One must creatively shape one's life so that it is productive and satisfying.
In a country like the United States, there are so many opportunities to
develop beyond what your forebearers were able to do because of the educational
opportunities available. Education fostered my interest in world
affairs, travel and contact with others that elevated me beyond anything
I thought was possible. I traveled widely, even though I had limited
resources. I've been to Europe, Africa, South and Central America,
Japan. Once in a typhoon in the Sea of Japan, I thought I would lose
my life. It made me think about its purpose. You can just plod
along or you can strive to be more. Always remember: the availability
of resources is always possible, but the effort has to be yours.
Please remember that without family you have neither security nor the spiritual
values that give life meaning. I have always felt my family came
first- my grandparents, my mother and my children and grandchildren.
Life, no matter what the struggles, the perplexities, always has a value
if you value who you are as a human being.
As you see I have a great need
to leave something of myself, as I don't believe I will completely die.
The driving spirit that everlastingly pumps joy into this old body at this
time will continue forever as my blood courses through you. I hope
you will always feel my love and comfort and my embrace. Despite
all that sadness and difficulties of life that are inevitable, we must
always embrace the challenges and keep striving. Don't let life ever
defeat you. You have the innate ability to charter your course so
that it not only satisfies you, but all those you love. I knew my
father for a mere 5 years, yet his great desire for me to get a good education
and be all that I could be influenced me all my life. My Hebrew name
"Bracha" means blessing. And I believe that I have been that to honor
my father's memory. I want to live in your thoughts lovingly as a
guide so you will make more out of your lives than I. In this respect you
are keeping my memory alive. Living in memory with love is living
forever.
Beatrice Taishoff
July 2001
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