Mom had heart disease
for the last 25 years of her life. Most of those years were productive,
active and fun-filled. As she approached the last 5 years of her
life, she began writing notes to us children and began drafting a letter
that she wanted read at her memorial service.
My mother was a great lover
of art-paintings and sculptures-and had a modest collection that she adored.
During the last year of her life she decided to make a home video to communicate
where her artwork had come from and what each piece meant to her.
She dressed up in an elegant gown and walked from piece to piece (much
like a docent) describing the history and meaning of the art. As
you can imagine, this is a priceless remembrance of her. She completed
this video just 6 months before she died.
Here is the letter addressed
to us children; the envelope reads "instructions for you children after
I'm gone, signed-mission control (the nickname given to her by us kids).
Dear children-
Here we are up on the hill (her plot was
on a hill in the cemetery). I hope it's a beautiful day. It's easier when
the sun shines.
I've lived a wonderful and full life.
You children have given us only joy and happiness. I am so proud
of each and every one of you-children, grandchildren and spouses.
Keep in close touch with each other always.
I have no last words of wisdom, I guess when
you were young I said all I had to say*. Bring up your children wisely
with love, discipline and tight reins.
Take good care of my wonderful guardian angel
(my dad).
Lovingly,
Mom
*I can just hear you say "no mom, you've
been giving advice all your life." Well, that's being a mother.
Here is the letter for the memorial service.
Dear friends and relatives:
Thank you so much for coming. I wanted
to say a few words to you all; not as a good-bye, but as a reminder of
the many happy times we have known as friends and family.
I'm no great inventor-rather I'm to be remembered
as "mother America," "mission control," "mom," and"grammy."
My greatest achievement and my greatest satisfaction
has been in raising a happy, united family. My mother was a kindergarten
teacher. She imbued me with my great love of children. I inherited
that love and I hope that I passed it down to the generations that will
follow me. The family became my career.
The children have been a source of great
pride and joy. First their spouses came, wonderful people of achievement
and love, who have brought so much to our family. Then there were
the grandchildren, all of them so special in their own way.
All of you--children, spouses and grandchildren--have
given me everything I ever wanted in life. I ask for nothing more
than the many happy years we have had, the good and the not so good, the
joy and the pain. It has been such a rich life as a result.
Some women find satisfaction in a career outside the home. I have
been fortunate. I wanted to devote my life to my children and I had
rich reward.
There are so many to thank for this life
of mine, and you will forgive me if I mention so few by name. Marilyn,
my (much) younger sister, your arrival was my first experience of being
"in charge"! And I treasure that experience and that period of our
lives. If we never saw as much of each other as we wanted, we still
knew we could rely on a sister.
Dr. R, thank you for keeping me alive. Without
your patience, advice and support I would not have gotten as far as I did.
You were a friend and I'm so grateful to you for helping me live the twilight
years that meant so much to me and my family.
Finally, d. Darling you must have felt
like my slave towards the end, but you were always my loving guardian angel
and companion. Fifty-one years of marriage and 8 more before that.
Those years made us one person. At the end of the day, d, we were
always able to bring out the best in each other. Our entertainment
was simple, the home, the children, the dog-but our joy was enormous.
Even in the last stressful days we never lost that. I consider our
life together such an achievement. Let us remember it that way.
So, to everyone here today, my thanks and
love.
Now as I pass into this new phase of my life,
I welcome it with joy and wonderment.
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