I wrote this to
my then 14-year-old son while he was away at Confirmation camp. I
was 38 at the time and had been remarried for almost 3 years. Until
that point I was a single mom who got divorced when he was 3. (I
also have another son-at the time I got divorced he was 1. My 14-year-old
chose to go live with his dad and step mom so he could attend a different
high school. It was an amicable decision all around as they only
live 5 miles from me.
I didn't really start this to be
an "ethical will" but when I look at it, it is just that! Kind
of cool! I love the concept. I'm now in the process of writing
my youngest, who is now 14, and starting high school...and moving to his
dad's as well. I'm going to be an empty nester at 41. Yow!
Dear Matt:
I love you! Yep, I do!
But, you should know this by now!
I can't believe you are starting high
school in a week or so. I remember high school so vividly - as a
time of anxiety, fun, experimenting and most of all friendships.
I was all too clear to me how important high school was to me at my 20-year
reunion a couple of weeks ago. And, I am a bit sad that you won't
be living with me throughout these years, but I am also glad that you have
such a great relationship with dad and your step mom.
Just remember that I am ALWAYS here
for you - no matter where you are. It might seem strange to you to
come to me with your problems, or concerns, or joys.... but you can, anytime.
You really can tell me anything. I may "wig out" at first, you know
me,
after I calm down I can be downright
rational and have good advice!
Throughout your 14 years I have tried
to be the best mom I can be. I haven't always succeeded, but I think
I've done pretty darn well! As a single mom for so much of your life,
it hasn't always been easy. Luckily I have a wonderful support system
that got me through the tough times. I apologize for the times that
I wasn't the mom you would have liked.
Teenagers can be real pains in the
butt (I'm sure I was) but they soon grow out of it and become pretty neat
adults! I hope through your teenage years I can look past the irritating
times and see your goodness. And I hope you can appreciate the things
I need to do, as a mom, to help you grow into the best possible adult you
can be. There will be times you will "hate" me because of my rules
or advice...but I can handle that because I know you will see why I have
to do some of the things I do once you are older. Hang in there
with me, Bob, dad and during those times when you think we are "out
of it."
Matt, you are one neat kid!
Really! I appreciate your sense of humor and your kindness.
I am so darn proud to call you my kid.... and so darn proud to be your
mom!
Confirmation is a big step.
It is one step closer in your walk with Christ. In those times when
you think no one is on your side, He is. Pray and praise God.
You will rely on Him throughout your entire life. I know I do.
I love you, Matt.
Mom
|